Molly Ringle

Legal question: child custody with a few twists

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:17:40 GMT

I come before you once again with a fictional scenario for which I'd like some factual information. We're in the legal realm this time. I know only a little law (for instance, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to run someone over with your car without giving them your insurance information beforehand), so feel free to use small words in your answer.

Scenario: a woman is pregnant and does not want to keep the child herself. She has agreed to let the father, her ex-boyfriend, take the baby. For what it's worth, he says she's free to visit anytime, though she claims she won't want to. What do they have to do, legally, to cement the custody decision? I assume something needs to be signed. Anything more?

To confuse matters, they're both Americans, but the child is born in England. Will that matter?

Further confusing things: ex-boyfriend/current father now has a boyfriend of his own, who, all parents agree, will be co-father. Is this easily covered in the agreement? Does any state (or national or international) agency ever have to step in?

Extra credit question: there's a phase in which it seems like the two guys may have to fight the birth mom for custody. What might they find out if they asked lawyers about their chances of winning? Or would they be better off asking social workers? They live in Seattle, by the way. Presumably that will play out differently than a similar scenario in Mississippi. Assume the mother is basically fit but a smidgen unstable, and would be raising the child alone.

That's all for now. If you read my posts carefully enough, you could piece together the plots of all my novels!

The roller coaster of publishing

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:10:05 GMT

I was discussing writing disappointments on an email list, and wanted to repeat my part of the conversation here. So, for anyone who's interested, here's a quick rundown of some of my bigger writing-world letdowns. This does not even count the hundreds of rejection letters I've collected--some of which arrived a year or more after my query.

- Circa 1999, a small publisher offered me a contract on a novel. Hurrah! I mentioned that offer to an agent, who quickly signed me on. Double hurrah! She then read the proposed contract and noted that the publisher wanted ALL rights--film, TV, all media that's not yet been invented, etc. And they wouldn't budge on it. So we passed on that publisher. Oh, well. She'd find someone else, right?

- Wrong. After about a year, during which time I heard almost nothing from her, she closed the agency, admitting to all her clients she couldn't handle the work and stress. Okay. Back to square one.

- I wrote a screenplay based on that novel. I sent queries to filmmakers. One guy, an indie director, called me and said he liked it. He wanted to option it. He'd send me the contract. OMG!! Hurrah! Only...he never did. I never heard from him again, except when months later he mailed back the script with no explanation. Plus I had to pay the extra postage due before I could pick it up from the post office. You suck, Hollywood.

- In 2002, with epublishers appearing on the scene, I took my chances and queried some. I got a novel published with one. And a different novel published with a different one. Hurrah and huzzah! But a few years and not many sales later, both epublishers folded. I was back to being unpublished.

I still don't have an agent. All the stories mentioned above are still unpublished (in any and all media). But at least now The Wild Rose Press has one of my books out (which is now an Eppie Award finalist), and another in edits, so my spirits are much improved. Maybe someday I'll get an agent too, and Hollywood will come begging for my forgiveness. But even if not, no way are those afore-listed setbacks keeping me from doing what I love. And thank you, publishing world, for helping thicken my skin and force patience into my unwilling temperament.

Deckle me not

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:34:34 GMT

Spotted on Amazon on some new hardcover book listing:

This Book Is Bound with "Deckle Edge" Paper. You may have noticed that some of our books are identified as "deckle edge" in the title. Deckle edge is when the pages of a book are made to resemble handmade paper by applying a frayed texture to the edges. Deckle edge is an ornamental feature designed to set certain titles apart from books with machine-cut pages.

...They do that on purpose? And here I thought such books were just cheaply made and sloppily left unsmoothed. Give me machine-cut any day if deckle-edge is your idea of ornamental.

And actually I prefer paperbacks to hardcovers anyway. So there.

Needed: more comedy!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:57:29 GMT

We've now finished season 5 of The Office on DVD, and thus must sit around impatiently until season 6 is done and out on DVD. (No, we don't have Tivo, nor is it realistic with yon small children for us to get episodes from online and sit around a computer watching. No, we don't have devices to transfer them from online to TV, as far as I know, nor the time to do it, so just never mind because this isn't the point.)

I want recommendations for another good comedy series to watch. No, a great comedy series. Hopefully without too much violence, but some sex and innuendo is fine since it goes right over the little ones' heads. (And honestly I think it does way less traumatic harm than viewing violence.) And I warn you, we have serious and perhaps unreasonable aversions to laugh tracks.

Incidentally, I normally read spoilers happily, sometimes even seek them out. But somehow I never saw the one about the big revelation at the end of s5 there (involving Jim/Pam). And I'm so glad, because it was a joyous surprise. And so well played, too. Glee!

Back in the Naughties we had the WORST cell coverage...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:05:01 GMT

Uh-oh, people. It's almost 2010 and we still seemingly haven't decided, as a global whole, what to call this current decade. It was the "eighties," then the "nineties," then the...what? Oh-ohs? Zeros? Aughties? Naughties?

This page discusses the main possibilities. But we will probably have to wait several years for a definitive answer, just by seeing which usage shakes out as the prevailing one.

Halloween ebook giveaway!

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:50:20 GMT

Since Halloween is almost upon us, and since I get to do this quite a few times if I want, I'm going to do one more giveaway of a PDF (ebook) copy of THE GHOST DOWNSTAIRS. Comment below to enter! Winner will get picked on Sunday by the handy-dandy random number generator at random.org.

And someday I'll post about more than just contests again, but October here has mostly been spent with the family sharing a flu-like thing. Yay.

I'm featured! Thus, a giveaway...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:06:07 GMT

There's an article about me on the Nights and Weekends site--I'm their featured e-author this month! Come read it and learn who I cite as my influences and what scents I would capture and stick in a bottle if I could.

And since it mentions the occasional perfume giveaways on my blog, let's do one now to reward anyone who comes looking for one...

Today's double header:

Cafe Noir by Dawn Spencer Hurwitz - has notes of bergamot, black pepper, cinnamon bark, pimento berry, benzoin, Bulgarian rose otto, jasmin, labdanum, coffee absolute, tolu balsam and vanilla. A rich, luscious, peppery coffee scent. It is an eau de parfum.

Labdanum 18 by Le Labo - Le Labo Labdanum 18 eau de parfum features the soft, lingering scent of labdanum (cistus) with a slightly animalic base. This is a lovely, intriguing scent.

Both are sampled, but mostly full, 1 ml vials from The Perfumed Court, who provided the scent descriptions above. To enter to win the samples, comment on this post. I'll choose a winner by random number on Sunday. International entrants welcome. Non-LJers too, as always, though you'll have to leave me some way to contact you. Good luck!

And now for a laugh...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 03:44:23 GMT

I think I've linked to this before, but there are some new ones now, and the site still makes me snort with laughter.

Retitled Romance Novels:
Page 1 (by Longmire)
Page 2 (reader submissions)

Examples:

Ebook giveaway

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:47:50 GMT

I doubt I will have time for a Halloween read-aloud project this year, as we did with Operations Ichabod and Raven in past years. Someone else can feel free to try organizing it if they want, and I'll at least read aloud a part.

But I will do this to kick off October: a giveaway of a PDF copy of The Ghost Downstairs. All you have to do to enter is comment here. It's about, uh, ghosts, sororities, old people, Seattle, love, and a few holidays including Halloween.

Good luck! Winner will be picked at random on Sunday.

Things bugging me about 'Eclipse'

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:28:23 GMT

It's been weeks since I finished reading Eclipse, but some things about it still bug me. First off, let's admit: the fact that I liked some of it. That just makes the annoying parts more annoying. Why couldn't it just all have been good instead of merely certain scenes? And for the record, the main part I think of as a good read was the strange love triangle on the mountain, the night Bella spent with both Edward and Jacob (in of course a totally non-sexual way), and the aftermath the next morning in the form of snogging Jacob for realsies.

However...blegh, it's such a mess. Edward annoyed me royally in early sections of the book, with his borderline abusive relationship behavior (having Bella more or less kidnapped; stalking her; glaring at her when she dared to see Jacob again...). But at least he recanted later, and I hated Bella for crying all over his shirtfront for seriously about 24 hours straight when she decided she couldn't see Jacob anymore. Dude! You don't do that to your boyfriend. You don't fall in love with anyone else, ideally, but if you do, you don't cry to your boyfriend about giving up Guy #2. It's horrible and cruel and selfish and unwise. Yes, teenagers do it, but it's still all of those things. So, that bugged me a good deal.

The other complaint that keeps returning to my mind is the dialogue. This is the kind of thing I wouldn't have noticed if I weren't a writer myself, but when the characters speak, they all sound pretty much alike. There are several monologues in this book, spots where one character or another goes off into their life story or the story of the Quileute werewolves or what have you, and gosh, they all sound 1) like each other, which is also 2) like Stephenie Meyer's narrative voice as Bella. We're lacking idiosyncrasies; there are no traces of personal turns of phrase and speech habits. Writers can get away with this (obviously), but the fiction is flatter for it.

In all, this series strikes me as the type of junk food you know isn't even all that yummy, but you keep eating it anyway. Like those sugar-free wafer cookies that come in pink, beige, and brown, and feel like styrofoam on the tongue.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, in contrast, is like Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos. And sometimes it's as good as the best gourmet brownies you ever had. And, once in a while, it's a delicious full-course meal.

But maybe you prefer those wafer thingies. It's okay. To each her own taste.

Perfume giveaway: Chanel No. 5

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:13:32 GMT

That's right! The one, the only, Chanel No. 5. Now is your chance to sample it, in the usual little 1 ml vial from The Perfumed Court. And if you like it, the good news is it will almost certainly never be discontinued within your lifetime.

TPC's description: This is the EDP of Chanel No. 5, the classic that this legendary house has been known for. Created in 1921, No. 5 has notes of aldehydes, Grasse jasmine, rose, ylang-ylang, iris, amber, and patchouli.

To enter to win the sample, comment on this post. I'll choose a winner by random number on Sunday. International entrants welcome. Non-LJers too, as always, though you'll have to leave me some way to contact you. Good luck!

Half a life and more

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 03:42:45 GMT

The scales have tipped. 17 years ago, right about this time of year, Steve and I began dating, at age 17. We thus celebrate over half our lives now spent together as a couple.

There are lots of awesome compliments I could pay Steve, regarding his being kind, intelligent, patient, and devoted; but the most important, to my mind, is that he's funny. So in this brief entry, I celebrate the Steve/Molly relationship (Stolly? Meve?) by a few Steve quotations that have become famous between us in the past 17 years:

(In the kitchen, using Frodo accent): "This is the tomato knife. You've seen it before."

(When asked what he saw in London's Tate Gallery): "Lots of pictures of people with spaniels."

(When taunting me about something): "I've got your goat! Admit it! I've got it!"
Me: (annoyed) "I don't HAVE a goat."
Steve: "That's because I TOOK IT."

(When our older child imitated the baby just lately): "No, you don't want to be like the baby. Look how dumb his pants are. They're yellow and white striped with integral feet. You wouldn't be caught dead in pants that dumb."

So in these sleep-deprived times, when we are not at our best (if I could think more clearly, I'd have a longer list of quotes), thank you especially much, my dear, for the occasional laugh. I love you! TEAM STOLLY.

Das babies!

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:49:59 GMT

Little T is around 13 lbs now, a monster blob of a baby, whose hair sticks up in back like a punk rocker, and who likes to smile at us and try interesting new vocalizations like "AH WA!" and "AGLA!" and "MARGH!" and "LAR!" One of his new nicknames is "Marlar," as a result. And Z loves him to death, often swooping in for a strangle-kiss and telling us, "I like that baby!" Just wait till he outweighs you and sits on you, Z.

Anyway: pics!

That's alls I's got time fer. Night.

One-time userpic giveaway

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:58:37 GMT

I have a gift certificate for the LJ store, and only need a certain amount of it, but have to use it all at once or lose it. My unneeded balance is $10, which happens to be the exact cost of 100 extra userpics for 12 months. So, anyone who wants that, please comment here by midnight Pacific Time, tomorrow. I'll pick the winner on Friday by random number generator, and a crazy number of new potential icons will be all theirs!

I always knew I was eye candy, but now I'm also set dressing.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:38:17 GMT

The other week my older sister Kate, who knows some people in movie production, emailed me to say, "Here's your chance to send naked pictures of yourself to Tobey Maguire!"

What she meant was, they're shooting a film here in Seattle, currently titled The Details, in which Tobey plays an OB/GYN, and they needed photos of newborns and new parents in the hospital to decorate Dr. Tobey's bulletin board on set. Kate had a bunch of me, Steve, and baby Toby (how about that name coincidence?), so with my permission, she sent a few to them. (None of them were actual naked photos, I hasten to add, though when you're wearing a hospital gown and giving birth, that's always a risk.)

Today Kate received confirmation that two of our photos--one of me with baby, and one of Steve with baby--are on the bulletin board and are official Set Dressing! She sent a photo of the bulletin board, and yep, there we are. I don't know a) if I'm allowed to show you the Set Dressing Bulletin Board photo, otherwise I would, or b) if you'll even be able to see it in the finished movie. But I thought it was a fun piece of news. My son made it into a movie when he was barely one minute old!

As it happens, my regular babysitter is currently working on that film too, as a costume assistant. My degrees of Kevin Bacon are skyrocketing lately.

This all makes it sound like I totally know people in Hollywood. I totally don't, and I don't even really know people who know people. Which is why such small events, like becoming Set Dressing, make me happy.

Writing huzzahs

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:36:30 GMT

Two great bits of publishing news:

An old entry of mine (http://lemonlye.livejournal.com/85020.html) made it into the LJ Turns 10 anthology! Apparently it's due out in print-on-demand next month. Fun!

And an old novel of mine, recently refurbished, got accepted at The Wild Rose Press as a contemporary romance! It's called Summer Term, and I'm sure I'll bore you later with the details and excerpts. For now, "yay" is all!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

It's...return of perfume giveaway!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:19:14 GMT

Due to childbearing and such, I had put the perfume giveaways on hiatus, but the little vials are still sitting here, waiting for new homes. So let's start up again!

Since they've been around a while through a heat wave or two, and that can affect quality sometimes, I'll do them in batches of two to get through them faster and hopefully find them appreciative homes.

Today, two citrusy scents that are both lovely, but, for me, not quite worth the hard-to-acquire quality and price. Both are 1 ml sample vials from The Perfumed Court, and here follow their descriptions:

Un Zeste d'Ete by L'Artisan: A sparkling, bright, summery concoction of lemon rind, orange bergamot, grapefruit and lemon blossom. A citrus lover's dream! Un Zeste D'Ete is an eau de toilette. Feminine.

D'Orange Verte by Hermes: Hermès introduced Eau d'Orange Verte in 1979 (the original name was Eau de Cologne d'Hermès; it was renamed Eau d'Orange Verte in 1997). It was created by perfumer Francoise Caron and has notes of bergamot, lemon, mandarin, mint, jasmine, orange blossom, patchouli, moss and cedar. Eau de cologne; unisex leaning toward masculine.

To enter to win the sample, just comment on this post. I'll choose a winner by random number on Sunday. International entrants now welcome! Non-LJers too, as always, though you'll have to leave me some way to contact you. Good luck!

Unintentional Bulwer-Lyttonism

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:21:11 GMT

Hey writers, does this ever happen to you? You're trying to describe a moment or scene, in your head, mentally groping for the proper, unique words, and your description goes off the rails until you have a contender for the Bulwer-Lytton Awards on your hands. Then, if you're like me, you actually try to turn it into such a sentence and make it as dumb as possible. A couple of examples that have spun out of my brain lately:

- Dale "Gruff" MacCleod knew a storm was coming, not only from the red hue of the clouds in the sunrise over the bay, or his sixty years of sailing experience, but because he had checked the weather report on his iPhone this morning before leaving the cabin.

- The sun's rays spilled over the windowsill, illuminating the bed and the sleeping couple, who lay still and peaceful, Rachel's arm outstretched and her knuckles resting upon Jacob's cheek, as if she had been frozen at the precise moment of punching him in the face.

(Neither of these are real story moments I planned to use. I don't know where exactly they originated, but that's where they ended up. I conclude that you shouldn't start a story with sunrises.)

Sorry to disappoint you, web-searchers

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:24:48 GMT

Interesting things people have entered as search terms, which have landed them on my webpage:

how many arrows pierced isildur [sorry, I didn't count]
hagrid stripped ginny and molly [uh...]
naked eowyn kissing aragorn [again, sorry. Photoshop isn't my strength.]
do legolas and aragorn kiss [alas, no]
aragorn and eowyn make out naked [see above]
girl falls off refrigerator on broomstick [I have no idea. But my website isn't what you're after.]
when i was in taiwan i had a dog named gandalf [how nice for you]
frodo tortured by merry [heh. Domlijah dies hard.]
long-haired draco dirty harry licking greenhouse [Dirty Harry? Really?]
you can be my sugar daddy i will do whatever you want script [was that a movie?]
draco and harry kiss in detention in half blood prince [someone has made that happen; just not me or Rowling]
harry grabbed ginny and tongue moan hi mum [well, that's more or less canon, at least]
one day there was a nice house and a lady called molly she was 19 years old. she saw the nice house and molly said to herself i think i should get this house. she asked the man if she could have the house the man said yes it is 1500 ponds. molly said ok when should i pay it. the man said today or next week. she said ok ill pay it next week. the man said ok. molly went in the house and 3 years later molly died of canser. after she died a man named joe wanted the house there was a difrent man and the house [I KID YOU NOT. Who enters Google terms like this?]

To be fair, many of the fandom search terms were non-pervy. I just cherry-picked the good ones. :) And plenty of people were in fact searching for me and my works, so that was gratifying too.

O Cure, what became of you?

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:17:19 GMT

Feeling nostalgic, I decided to give new Cure another try, and checked out the 4:13 Dream album from the library. I really wanted to like it, but, well...glad I didn't pay for it, at least.

I miss the days when Robert could hit and hold notes. (Maybe he still can, but he's choosing not to.) I miss the clean, sharp guitar and keyboard notes, which have been replaced mostly by noise that I can't enjoy listening to. As for lyrics--well, I stopped trying to pay attention after Wild Mood Swings (which did at least have a couple good tunes and lines).

I also checked out The Top, since I don't have it on CD, and coveted the extra tracks. It's not usually anyone's first pick for best Cure album, nor is it mine, but it's striking how much better it is--even the bonus demo tracks--than 4:13 Dream.

What happened, Robert? And can't you fix it?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Half-Blood Prince film parody (someone else's)!

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:36:09 GMT

What with infant rearing and all, I'm not getting out to see the Half-Blood Prince film anytime soon. But! Fortunately the rest of you have, and have provided discussions and reviews, and in at least one case, a really amusing parody version! Thank you, killer_cola, for raising many a giggle in this weary mom.

Some excerpts I particularly liked:

DUMBLEDORE: I'd get used to the bleak colourlessness: that's here to stay.
YATES: What can I say? Hanging around Helena Bonham Carter brings out the Burton in me.
SLUGHORN: Dumbledore! Come in, come in! I've been on the lam for a year, carrying only photographs of teenagers I was fond of.
HARRY: ...
DUMBLEDORE: Relax, Harry, Horace isn't a paedophile. He just acts like one in more or less every way.
HARRY: Well, sir, it was you I was intending to keep my eye on. You've got notably camper since Rowling outed you.
DUMBLEDORE: (swatting him with a women's magazine) Oh, you bitchy thing you. Take my hand.

FRED & GEORGE'S JOKE SHOP/SINGLES BAR
HALF OF HOGWARTS shows up to flirt at one another over love potions. Which is kind of creepy, if you think about it, since they're all thinking, "I'm gonna roofie *that* one."

HARRY: Don't worry Hermione, you'll get together in the end. There are too many Ron/Hermione shippers to allow it to be any other way.
HARMONY SHIPPERS: We know, we know. But can you at least hold her hand so we can kid ourselves?
HERMIONE: (snuggling against HARRY) I know you feel the same way, Harry. I've seen how awkwardly you look at Ginny.
HARRY: (cradling HERMIONE) She is a vision of mousy perfection.
HARMONY SHIPPERS: We love and hate this scene all at once.

HARRY: Ron, you for once don't look as though you've just puked into your mouth. Is something wrong?

DRACO: (in a darkened bathroom, sobbing against his own reflection) I am the new icon for emos everywhere!
HARRY: You're showing your descent to the dark side with a side fringe and eyeliner? What is this, Spider-Man 3?

(And if, like me, you can't even remember the details of the book, I once parodied that for everyone's reference.)

New fandom: The Office

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:13:17 GMT

Sometimes, such as when dealing with the last few weeks of pregnancy or the first few of new-baby-hood, fandom is a real sanity saver. I'm not only revisiting an old one by slowly working my way through Buffy again, but am also enjoying a new one with The Office (US--saw the UK one years ago, and yes, it was great too). We're just about done with season 3, and the silly show has wormed its way slowly into my heart.

I like that it seems on the surface to be almost pure parody--surely no one in real life is as awful or clueless as Michael or Dwight?--but runs deeper into true-to-life human nature before long, even for the worst of the characters. Both Michael and Dwight, for instance, have done sweet turns for someone and gained my temporary approval here and there. (See: Michael at Pam's art show, or Dwight finding her crying and demanding, "Who did this to you? Where is he?")

Relationships! Hurray! Naturally I'm a huge Jim/Pam shipper, and have been from episode 1. I'd crush on Jim too, in her place. But the writers make things bearable and interesting by making Karen likeable as well. And even Roy isn't always a prat. Jan/Michael is wrong and hilarious. Dwight/Angela is so twisted it's occasionally almost hot. Kelly/Ryan--well, he got himself into that mess, so I just laugh.

As a side plus, my husband seldom laughs so much at television as he does at Jim's pranks against Dwight. It's good to see him cheered up from our stressful existence. And good to know I married a man whose sense of humor aligns so closely with Jim's.

That's all I have time for today. Amazing I have any time at all! Thanks again to the husband, for taking the older boy out to play while I sit with napping newborn. Hope I have time to check in again once he returns to work in another week...

The view from home lately

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:23:41 GMT

Toby (officially Tobias), born June 30, 8 lb 1 oz. Whole family is doing well. (Actually, the big brother may have some different opinions on the subject, but he'll adjust.)

You can stop at the cute baby picture there, but if you want them, the gory birth details are here...

Monday the 29th was technically my due date, and I felt nothing particularly labor-ish most of the day, which disgruntled me. I'd been hoping for at least an on-time baby if not a somewhat early baby. I did have a couple of stronger than usual contractions in the afternoon, but then nothing, and I fell asleep with Z during his nap. That evening I noticed the faintest traces of watery blood, which got me excited, but then again, "bloody show" can mean birth is hours away or days away. So I went for a long evening walk with Z and Steve, and checked my email. My eldest sister, a certified nurse-midwife, responded to my due-date report with "Sounds like it might be tonight." I scoffed to myself, and went to bed.

Uncomfortable contractions woke me up around 1 AM, and I lay in bed a while, dozing and wondering if they meant anything. They did involve lower back pain, which was new, and usually a sign of real labor as opposed to pre-labor. OK, I thought; one more like that and I'll get out of bed and start timing them.

I had one more like that. Thus I got out of bed around 2:00, tiptoed downstairs, found my iPod, and used the stopwatch feature on its clock app to time the contractions. (They need a new app for this, Steve says. iLabor?) I jotted the figures down on a notepad in the light of the iPod's glow. Since they were occurring between 4 and 10 minutes apart, and lasting 30 seconds to a minute each, and felt stronger and more serious than the old Braxton-Hicks types, I called Labor & Delivery at about 3:00 and told them what was up.

"Try taking a shower," was basically their advice. This might relax me and subside the contractions if they were "false," but if not, I was welcome to call back.

So I took a shower. No change, but at least I was clean for starting the journey to the hospital. At about 4:00 I woke up Steve and said, "Contractions are getting mean. We better get this checked out." Also called the hospital to tell them I was coming, and my sister Kate so she could meet us there, and my folks-in-law so they could come over and stay with Z. (They've been in town a couple of weeks now pretty much for this exact purpose.)

Steve wins at smooth but speedy driving. Seattle traffic is miraculously nonexistent at 4:30 AM, which helped a great deal. Between contractions I got to enjoy the breaking dawn behind the sparkling city skyline as we zoomed over to the U med center.

We arrived a little before 5:00, and soon Kate got there too. At Labor & Delivery they put me in a triage room to check if I was really in labor before admitting me. Since by that point I was gripping furniture, wincing, and groaning with each contraction, this seemed a silly step to me, but so be it. I got stripped and into a hospital gown, and the resident doc stopped in to examine me. Contractions were only 2 or 3 minutes apart, I was already 7-8 cm dilated, and I hated lying on my back on the table. As I inched forward off it, right after his exam, the bag of waters broke, bringing on a super-nasty contraction (as is commonly the case). So yeah, they decided I was in labor (you think?), and helped me down the hall to a proper delivery room.

The midwife on call got there within ten or fifteen minutes, but by then I was up to yelling and making the hospital bed tremble from the force of my grip on it with each contraction. I still did not want to lie down. I remembered from last time that gravity is my friend in speeding things along, and felt best when I could stand, or squat, and hang onto the bed rail. Fortunately the midwife and nurses were totally on board with this, and seemed honestly not to mind that I was likely to have a baby on the floor rather than on their nicely prepared bed. They spread blanket-pad things under my feet for safety and cushioning, and told me to keep at it.

Steve and Kate said, "You're doing so good!" and "Great job, Molly," with each contraction, but as they told me later, "We were just getting warmed up." For within minutes, those nasty transition contractions turned "pushy"-feeling, and after maybe five minutes of pushing, out came Toby, at 5:50--less than an hour after we got to the hospital.

He started screaming instantly. Quite impressive. I thought normally they had to suction out their mouth or something first. Anyway, I plunked down on the floor blankets (Steve sat behind me to support me while Kate snapped photos), and I picked up the darling wet baby, and really all the other medical stuff they did to me after that hardly mattered. I did notice I had quite the case of horror-movie legs, though--streaks of blood all down to my feet. Expecting moms, take note: don't wear your prettiest socks for this adventure. Probably want to go barefoot here.

I finally got into their nice bed so they could deliver the placenta (practically a non-event after the baby's birth; not painful at all) and they cleaned me up while I sat back and caught my breath and admired the baby. Kate handed me her iPhone so I could log into Facebook and set my update with the news, but that's as much online time as I've really tried to do since then.

She commented that I "didn't even break a sweat," which is sweet of her, but not true. Maybe I didn't look sweaty, but I definitely did sweat. I don't think it's possible not to. Someone else (in the hospital) remarked on how good I looked after having a baby, and having it "the hard way," too--that is, without pain meds. But honestly, I don't think there's an easy way, nor that I'm any braver than women who get an epidural (or a C-section). You're facing serious discomforts any way you look at it. But you also come out of it feeling pretty darn impressed with yourself when you hold a 7 or 8 pound baby and realize, "This was in me??" So do not fear. Nature knows what she is doing and will usually help you along.

Also, that was of course a fast birth. That's often the case with second or subsequent babies, and definitely so in my family. So, even if I'd wanted an epidural, I'm not sure they would have had time to get one together. It's kind of amazing, too, to think of that evening walk we took, when I didn't even feel like I was in labor, and realize that 9 hours later I was holding a new baby.

Zach, incidentally, slept through the whole thing. He woke up at 8:00 AM, found his grandparents there instead of us, and cheerfully took it in stride. As to how he felt last night when he realized Mom would have to be cutting short her nighttime cuddle with him to feed the squawking baby--well, not so much in stride there, poor guy. But he's only 3 and a half, so chances are, he soon won't even remember a time before he had a brother. Strange!

Now the heat has come back to Seattle (not a day too soon), and I'd like to go down from this warm attic bedroom to a cooler place in the house, taking this warm baby with me. And eat! I can eat large amounts again. There's room for it! This is awesome. I'm so sleep-deprived, but sleep-deprived and not pregnant is better than sleep-deprived and pregnant. However, if I fall off the radar for a while here, now you know why.

Happy holiday weekend to those in the US. And please hug your mom and tell her "Good job."

Buffy vs. Edward

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:07:10 GMT

As a follow-up to the Buffy v. Twilight discussion of a week ago, this is a great video remix introducing the two (Buffy and Edward) to one another, with predictable consequences:

http://blip.tv/file/2261825/

Really well mixed, and oddly satisfying. ;)

In other news, Happy Father's Day!

In still other news, yes, I continue to be pregnant. And yes, I'm ready for that to stop.

Ramble on the Twilight books

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:44:13 GMT

I should start by saying this ramble comes from someone who hasn't read the whole series yet. I only just started book 3 (Eclipse), and the fact that I picked it up at all after the many annoyances I found in book 2 (New Moon) is at least one compliment I can pay Stephenie Meyer. I do want to know, at least on the surface, in a soap-opera way, what happens with these characters. There's also the desire to obtain the whole picture so I can ridicule it, or at least critique it, better. I admit that. But both desires are there for me, conflicting and warring and sparkling absurdly in the sunlight. I haven't had such a bipolar reaction of being compelled to read more and wanting to smack the author and the characters every other chapter since discovering Thomas Hardy about ten years ago.

As I've recently discussed on Facebook and elsewhere with dirae, kenshi, and others, the "vampiric death = sex" metaphor shines glaringly clear the more you read of the Twilight series. (And it was immediately and almost hilariously obvious in the film, with Robert Pattinson using all his considerable James Dean angst to convey vampire-Edward's difficulty in keeping his hands, teeth, and other body parts off that jailbait girl-crush of his.)

But Edward's way of dealing with it is the dull, mildly religious-conservative route: abstinence only. In some ways I find it refreshing, I suppose; a book for teens that's free of sex, drugs, or swear words. On the other hand...is that really the teen life any of us knew?

When Joss Whedon introduced his teenage heroine (Buffy Summers) to a "nice" vampire (Angel), and later a not so nice one (Spike)--well, I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer yet (which everyone should), but much more dramatic things happened. Believe me, the subtext of "vampires=sex," and the correlating "sex can equal death," rapidly became text. Buffy's interactions with Angel and Spike illustrated it loud and clear, and with about fifty times as much fascination, humor, and heartbreak as the chilly Cullens have inspired in me so far.

Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite veered other directions with their vampire series. Rice's vampires were, she claimed, chaste, but please; every scene was about how sensually obsessed they were with each other. Brite just went ahead and made her vampires all promiscuous lovers, having them use sex to draw in mortal victims as well. You want a really sharp, horrifying picture of the "vampire sex as death" thing, even involving teenagers, go read Brite's Lost Souls.

For that matter, going back farther, anyone over the age of about 16 who reads Bram Stoker's Dracula can clearly see the Victorian horror of female sexuality inherent in the story. Demure young women get forced to taste blood, and they turn into red-lipped, heaving-bosomed seductresses whom one must stake and decapitate as soon as possible. Yet there's a thrill in it too--everyone knows that Dracula and his she-vampires are considered sexy and alluring, at least in the lives they've taken on outside the book. Within the book itself they're not exactly painted in the most flattering terms. But the fact remains, Stoker isn't afraid to let more bad things happen to more good people than Meyer seems to be. When Stoker writes about his vampire sneaking into a young lady's bedchamber, that vampire isn't there to "watch her sleep." He's there to bite her neck, feed her his blood from his bare chest, and Make Her His.

Speaking of watching her sleep: again, anyone over about 16 who reads the Twilight books is a bit troubled by the stalker-like, semi-pedophiliac nature of Edward Cullen. For whatever reason, it hasn't occurred to young teens on the whole, but a man sneaking into your bedroom night after night, without your knowledge, just to watch you sleep, is scary, not romantic. Call the freaking cops if this is happening to you. Furthermore, we adults immediately find it weird that 100-year-old immortals would want to attend high school over and over, instead of, say, college at least. But you know who finds the scenario just perfect? High school girls, that's who. And that's part of the allure of the Twilight series as a whole: we are entirely locked into Bella's first-person, impulsive, obsessive, honest, female-adolescent point of view. Even when she annoys the hell out of me, I find it weirdly interesting to read what is, in effect, her diary. I just wonder if the books might not benefit from the point of view of an actual adult once in a while too.

(Yes, I hear Meyer's writing a new one from Edward's point of view. But he's not exactly your usual adult, so we'll see...)

On a note unrelated to sex and death, but still related to realism in the teen world, there aren't nearly enough cell phones or computers in Meyer's books. The kids mostly call each other on land lines and pass each other handwritten notes. It's almost as if...gosh, as if the author is someone my age who's remembering how things were back when she was in high school. I still don't text-message, so I feel her reluctance to fake it in fiction. On the other hand, teens are eating this series up despite the anachronism. Goes to show, there's no predicting what will fly and what will crash in the world of fandom.

All the same, vampires have been done to (sexy) death. Guess I'll have to try my hand at making Greek gods, fairy folk, ghosts, or selkies the next hip thing instead.