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Condensed parody version

couple w/ umbrella on street
Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )

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( 591 comments — Leave a comment )
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xaeus
Dec. 20th, 2002 09:17 pm (UTC)
hahahahahaha... (etc)

*grin*
deliverme
Dec. 20th, 2002 10:02 pm (UTC)
*applauds* very very clever!
lisselirinen
Dec. 20th, 2002 10:17 pm (UTC)
Sent by friends....
Thank you. This was absolutely hilarious!! My husband and I, who are also hugt LOTR fans, loved your parody. Thank you! :)

~C
darkrosetiger
Dec. 20th, 2002 10:22 pm (UTC)
ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that.

PEOPLE WHO READ THE BOOK: Neither did I...


*pumps fist in air* YES! That was exactly my reaction.

Loved this. Frelling brilliant.
sincelastjuly
Dec. 21st, 2002 12:07 am (UTC)
ROFLMAO!
*is officially dead*
linaelyn
Dec. 21st, 2002 12:59 am (UTC)
You needed yet another comment telling you this is great...
...right?

Seriously, you caused an asthma attack here. Thank you. I really really needed a good laugh like this tonight.

And I blipped in from a link on my friendsfriends, so the ripples are spreading. :-)

~Lin
(Anonymous)
Dec. 21st, 2002 02:24 am (UTC)
Oh LORD!! Funniness!
OH jeez, i needed this laugh! This is GREAT!


TREEBEARD: We have opted, hoom, not to do a damn thing.

PIPPIN: I didn't expect that.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: Neither did I...

*uncontrollable snickering*
voleuse
Dec. 21st, 2002 02:31 am (UTC)
LEGOLAS: You're just jealous because I'm pretty.
ARAGORN: You're just jealous because I'm going to be king.
LEGOLAS: You can bite my ass.
ARAGORN: Hey, blow me.


I adore you.
ozfille
Dec. 21st, 2002 02:49 am (UTC)
Saw this on a Friend's Friend's Page
So funny. Like others haven't seen the film yet, but this has certainly added to my anticipation and I will come back and look at it after I see it. From my memories of the first part of the series you have pinned the characters so well!

Outrageously funny and you are stupendously talented writing this so quickly.

Karen
finglas
Dec. 21st, 2002 05:41 am (UTC)
so good, so funny and so true: i love it! and you´re a goddess!
i felt the need to spread this among my friends so i posted it in my journal with a link to your lj and your name. i hope that you don´t mind!
lemonlye
Dec. 21st, 2002 12:04 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks...I'm blushing like a schoolkid from all this attention. :)
(no subject) - finglas - Dec. 21st, 2002 12:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lemonlye - Dec. 21st, 2002 11:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
stefestella
Dec. 21st, 2002 05:43 am (UTC)
ROTFLMAO...
Oh yeah, and was fully expecting Galadriel, Elrond, and Gandalf to break out into a chorus of "Whaaazzzzuuuuupppp!"

:)
strangedreams
Dec. 21st, 2002 09:57 am (UTC)
Re: ROTFLMAO...
Galadriel: Hey, hey Elrond?

Elrond: What?

Galadriel: Whaaazzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaap?

Elrond: Whaaaaaazzzzzaaaaaap??

Galadriel: Whaaaaazzzzaaaaaaap?

Elrond: Hey, hey, get Gandalf on the phone.

Gandalf: Hello?

Elrond: Whaaaaazzzzzzaaaaaaap?

Galadriel: Whaaaazzzzzaaaaaapp?

Gandalf: Whaaaaazzzzzaaaaaap?

Elrond: Whaaaaazzzzzaaaaaap?

Gandalf: Havin' a beer, smokin' some bud.

Galadriel: True, true.

Re: ROTFLMAO... - lemonlye - Dec. 21st, 2002 12:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: ROTFLMAO... - finglas - Dec. 21st, 2002 12:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
punky_princess
Dec. 21st, 2002 05:43 am (UTC)
I saw a link to this on MsA's page - good god that's brilliant!! *Will print out and keep* :)
maereth
Dec. 21st, 2002 06:41 am (UTC)
still laughing
found this off a friend's lj, and must say that it is the best parody i've seen yet. you might want to add a line as to why the bloody hell frodo ends up in gondor *very confused*.

the part with the "people who read the book" were classic.

definitely captures the essence of the book.
leahpia77
Dec. 21st, 2002 07:26 am (UTC)
I know you have no idea who I am, and I usually just laugh from afar when I am directed to things like this, but this time, I could not resist.

This was damn funny and I enjoyed it very much. I actually clapped in parts because I thought the same thing. Thanks for cracking my shit up.
squigit
Dec. 21st, 2002 07:40 am (UTC)
"ARAGORN: Actually, it was Legolas's fangirl contingent, shrieking in delight at his horseback-riding tricks."

Exactally what I had to sit behind during the whole movie!
poo_head
Jan. 3rd, 2003 06:39 pm (UTC)
Haha..
Busted.. -Hangs head in shame-

:D This is too funny.
nautnee
Dec. 21st, 2002 07:54 am (UTC)
thumbs up
very, very, incredibly brilliant! What a great comical sum-up! That was incredibly fun to read!
hisgreyeyes
Dec. 21st, 2002 08:48 am (UTC)
EOMER: Nope. Oh! Unless they were in that pile of corpses we burned.

ARAGORN: Thank you; that's...useful...


Ahahahahaha! This is GENIUS! I can't say much more than what alllll the other commenters have already said, so I'll just point at them and nod in agreement.
strangedreams
Dec. 21st, 2002 09:47 am (UTC)
ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.
ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.


So true. The pack of queerbois I went with very quickly started calling the elves "The Gay Brigade".
dwaggie
Dec. 21st, 2002 10:43 am (UTC)
hah..
When the Ents are storming Isengard, I was waiting for Saruman to come out and go, "HEY! YOU! GET OFF MY LAWN!"

...not that he had much lawn left, you see, but it would be funny for an old man to do that.
lemonlye
Dec. 21st, 2002 11:27 pm (UTC)
Re: hah..
I considered something like that... or maybe a comment about how he really needed to get a new gardener to take care of these ornery trees... :)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 21st, 2002 11:22 am (UTC)
Real great. I just found the link in a german fan forum of "Lord of the Rings" and I will duely spread the link as much as I can :-)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 21st, 2002 12:46 pm (UTC)
LOLOLOLOLOL
That was perfect!!!!!
My roomie says you have too much time on yuor hands but you got the movie perfectly!!
*still wants a golum as a pet, hehe*
----Snow
mordecai
Dec. 21st, 2002 12:59 pm (UTC)
*swoons*

i LuV yOu FuNy StRaNgEr!!1!1!!

That was hilarious, but I'm sure 500 other people already told you that.
tresca
Dec. 21st, 2002 01:01 pm (UTC)
Also found this from my friends list. Utterly hilarious! I saw the movie last night and came home and read this right after. It was the perfect thing to top the evening off!!
bnh
Dec. 21st, 2002 01:30 pm (UTC)
*diiiiiiiiiies laughing*
jhyanmar
Dec. 21st, 2002 02:05 pm (UTC)
*laughs!* Wonderful! Awesome! I'd love to see a not-so-condensed parody version. :)
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( 591 comments — Leave a comment )

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