No paint (or other artificial color), no photo editing; just the right colors pulled from the mix and put in rainbow order. Easy to replicate on most beaches. At least, most beaches around here. Perhaps not on those all-black-sand-and-rock beaches in Hawaii.
There was a lot of beauty in this book, and a decent amount of humor, but those only made up about half the (rather too many) pages; the rest was pain and grief and ugliness. (Examples? Oh, dysfunctional families, alcoholism, drugs, incurable diseases, miscarriages, beatings, amputations, lethal accidents, suicides, regular old grief on a pretty much ongoing basis...should I continue?) And that was too high a proportion for me.
Henry and Clare were a romantic, steamy couple, yes, and I appreciated the unusual nature of the time travel in this story. Well, not unusual if you watch Doctor Who, but relatively unusual in literary fiction. However, Clare was nearly the *only* great thing to come out of Henry's time traveling, aside from one or two cool tricks regarding lottery numbers or stocks (they should've employed more fun ideas like that). Mostly it subjects him to awkwardness, horrible injuries, and poignant visits in the past to people who've since died. Realistic, maybe, if one can use the word "realistic" for this plot, but a delightful read? No way. Especially not the last quarter or so, when it becomes clear we're in a downward slide toward death. I detached myself emotionally before that, so I only felt somewhat depressed rather than heartbroken and mascara-tear-stained. (Not like I wear mascara much anyway.)
The reading group guide at the back included the question, "Would you call this a comedy or a tragedy?" Excuse me? In what universe would this be considered a comedy? I don't want to live in that universe.
The writing's pretty good, in that poetic, details-of-the-moment, first-person, present-tense style that so many "literary" novels take on these days, even though articles tell us writers we shouldn't use first person much, and should almost never use present tense for an entire novel. Some people get to break the rules and be on Oprah's reading list anyway, it appears.
On a related note, I really like writing/reading the age 18-24 range--basically, college age--because a lot is changing in life then, as compared to high school. That's the true "young adult," if you ask me, and I'd call the high school stuff "teen lit." But it's far too late to change the industry terminology now. Some people have called books about the college age "new adult," and I've seen it applied to my books of that category (RELATIVELY HONEST and WHAT SCOTLAND TAUGHT ME), but introducing that distinction is splitting more instead of lumping more, so I don't think it's necessary.
Thanks to
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
modmerseygirl for pointing me to that article and getting me rambling about it.People who should read this parody:
- Those who have read the book.
- Those who don't plan to read the book but want to know in ten minutes what happens in it.
- "Those who have seen the film without having read the book" could be included in that last category.
People who should NOT read this parody:
- Those who have neither read the book nor seen the movie, but do plan to someday, and are therefore avoiding SPOILERS.
So. Onward!
THE HUNGER GAMES (book version), condensed: Putting the "laughter" back in "slaughter"!
By Molly Ringle, with apologies and applause for Suzanne Collins, who did not give me permission to write this and will probably never notice it anyway.
April 13, 2012
CHAPTER ONE
The woods, District 12, Dystopian Republic of Panem. (No, Panem is not an airline. You're thinking of PanAm.)
KATNISS, age sixteen, shoots the family breakfast with a bow and arrow, assisted by bromantic bud GALE, who, despite his girly name, is a guy.
KATNISS: Ooh! Squirrel!
GALE: Yum. Do you want to run away with me?
KATNISS: Are you high?
GALE: Just throwing it out there.
KATNISS: Um. No. Let's go home and get prettied up for the reaping.( Read more... )
Being Fred and George, they completely would tease Ron about it if they'd noticed. I assume they just never looked at the boring old dormitory while working their mischief--can't think of another explanation.
Though on the serious side, if they had noticed, they could have saved everyone a heap of trouble. Hmm.
I know this will alienate me forever from die-hard Tolkien fans, but I felt The Lord of the Rings (the novel, that is) went on too long after the Ring's destruction. Specifically, the scouring of the Shire didn't work for me. I see how it's important to show that the war extended even to the gentle faraway Shire, but our good professor basically already showed that with what happened to the four hobbits (actually five; Bilbo too). In terms of pacing, it felt like a big stumble or hiccup. We were winding down and watching what happened to each hero as he or she went home, then boom, we're back into battle scenes? Didn't like it. As far as I'm concerned, it's okay if Saruman does meet his doom back on his ruined tower, from a tidy arrow fired by Legolas.
For that matter, I also felt the Tom Bombadil sequence was a big hiccup or stumble on the path of getting the action started. Therefore I totally understand why Peter Jackson didn't put either of them in the film. And I utterly forgive it. Though I know my elf- and dwarf- and hobbit-costumed friends will raise an outcry at my saying so.
(Admit it, you miss the days when 90% of my LJ posts were about LOTR. It's kind of nostalgic, my posting this, isn't it?)
http://www.cracked.com/article_19705_th
I have to post this article because it's fascinating, hilarious, and terrifying all at once. Interestingly, the comments on it seem to agree with my instinct: the Strid, the innocent-looking creek in the UK that drowns everyone who touches it, is the scariest. That's precisely because it is so innocent-looking. It's also because, jeez, English landscapes aren't supposed to be deadly! Every other continent, sure--no one's surprised to find Africa featuring twice on this list--but England? Where a gentle 1,000-foot-tall hill is a mighty mountain, and serious weather means a foot of snow? Regardless, it houses The Stream That Will Suck You Under To Unknown Depths and Drown You and They Will Never Find Your Body.
Freaky.
Mind you, I did LOL later in the article when they refer back to "jumping the Pleasant Brook of Death." There is comedy gold throughout here. Dark-comedy gold.
If you aren't published yet, or are self-published but would like to be published by a regular royalty-paying press, I dedicate this paragraph to you:
When it comes to big-time publishers, well, I haven't gotten their attention myself, and apparently most people can't without an agent. But I've had a lovely experience with small presses who do mostly ebooks with some POD (print-on-demand), and highly recommend giving them a chance. I like this yearly poll of readers' and writers' favorite publishers for ideas on who to look into. My own publishers, The Wild Rose Press and Central Avenue Publishing (formerly called ireadiwrite Publishing) both placed very highly on it, and with good reason. I've enjoyed working with them both a great deal.
Now I'll address the authors who are newly published, either self-pubbed or published by a small (or even big) press, and are realizing they (the authors) are still expected to do a lot of the marketing. First of all, congratulations on the publication of your book! What do you do next? Here are some things that have worked for me:
Goodreads - sign yourself up as an author there. It's free, and it's a delightful site where avid readers hang out. So is Amazon, but Amazon has gotten huge, selling everything under the sun, while Goodreads doesn't sell anything and is dedicated solely to book discussions. Putting up a few free copies of your books on the "giveaways" section will attract lots of attention, at least making hundreds more people aware that you exist.
Book bloggers - search for blogs that review books similar to yours, and email them to ask if they'd like to review your book. Again it means giving away a free copy if they are interested, but the review generates a lot of exposure. And actually, Goodreads is a good place to find such bloggers: look at the reviews for books like yours, and click on the profiles attached to the more thoughtful and well-written reviews, and frequently you'll find a link to an official review blog listed there.
Spam everyone you know - well, don't actually spam them, of course. But make a list of the email addresses of everyone you can think of who might conceivably be interested in knowing about your writing news (I use an Excel spreadsheet), then send out a brief and cheerful update every once in a while. To help gather email addresses, stick a bit of code on your webpage that says something like "To be notified of my writing news, enter your email here. Your address will never be shared or sold," with a box where they can submit their address, which will then be automatically emailed to you. I had no idea how to do this, but asked an I.T.-guy friend, and he gave me a very simple code that did the trick. Thanks, Rich! Mine's here, if you want to see it.
First chapters - make them available for free on your webpage, or somewhere else easy to find. If people can read it and get hooked, they'll buy the book. And they'll always appreciate getting a feel for what the writing is like.
That ought to keep you busy a few days. Hope this helps! Best of luck to you. Now I suppose I should actually go, uh, write. But thanks for letting me procrastinate a little longer.
He was my first crush in the band, and a crush at that age sticks with you as part of what makes up your fabric. I'll always be fond of Davy, even if, had we all been the same age and not born tragically thirty years apart, I would have broken up with him eventually and tried for Mike (or "Nez" as the true fans say)--perhaps after a two-week summer fling with Micky. But I don't know; Davy's English accent might have kept me around a while.
Now, obviously he was cute, ready-made to be the TV heartthrob of 14-year-old girls in the '60s...
On the goofy, weird TV show invented to advertise the band, whenever they needed one of the boys to fall instantly in love with some girl and snog her on screen, Davy got the job nine times out of ten. Girls screamed and cried and had seizures for him in real life, nearly to the same degree as any Beatle ever enjoyed. Not bad for a bloke who stood 5'3" (in boots, he clarified with a grin once--and we know how high boot heels could be in the sixties).
Some of the songs they gave him to sing were the absolute sappiest, so gloppy and sticky-sweet you wanted to pour them over your pancakes. (Witness "The Day We Fall in Love," "I'll Be True to You (Yes I Will)" or "I Want to Be Free.") However, he was fully capable at singing, dancing, and acting--he was stage-trained and was nominated for a Tony in his youth--and clearly had fun at it. I highly recommend you have a look at this Rolling Stone tribute, as it gives several great, amusing examples of Davy Moments from the Monkees era.
Another great link from right here in Seattle: the excellent radio station KEXP serves up Monkees songs in their original state, and as covered by others; as well as vice-versa sometimes.
And a beautiful blog entry, complete with videos, from a fan about my age who clearly gets it.
I feel almost as sad as if one of my own uncles or cousins had died. But the somber news today has at least revived the good times I had listening to this band, watching them on cable TV, and playing air guitar to their songs with my little sister on our front porch.
Should you care, these are from my own journal archives:
A brief list of my favorite Monkees songs, split into categories like "cute and catchy Davy songs" and "psychedelia."
A short and very silly piece of fanfic in which Davy meets Legolas, which I totally forgot I had written, until today.
SEVEN little samples to one lucky recipient! I chose a springy floral list for you today. The winner gets:
Serge Lutens, Vitriol d'Oeillet: clove, carnation, wallflower, lily, ylang-ylang
Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier, Fleur de Comores: blackcurrant, passionfruit, leafy green, vanilla, orange blossom, jasmine, ambergris, vetiver, musk
Odori, Iris: star anise, heliotrope flowers, Madagascar ylang ylang, iris from Florence, Oriental amber, Bourbon vanilla
Aroma M, Geisha Violet: violet, lilac, lotus, chocolate
I Profumi di Firenze, Florentia 22 (Pesca e Fiori): white peach blossom, lilac, Florentine purple iris
Rancé, Joséphine: orris, black currant, galbanum, violet leaf, cloves, white peach, jasmine, hyacinth, ylang-ylang, amber, sandalwood, bourbon vanilla and white musk
Rancé, Triomphe: mandarin, Calabrian lemon, violet leaves, apple, Bulgarian rose, jasmine, Florentine iris, sandalwood, cedar, musk, vanilla
(Clearly iris from Florence is the only iris worth smelling. Well, la-di-da.)
These are all little sample vials around 1 ml or slightly bigger. To enter, leave a comment on this post and make sure I have a way to contact you if you win. I'll choose a winner in two weeks by random number generator. To simplify my life, US entrants only, please! (My apologies to the rest of the world--but if you're in Europe, you can get most of these perfumes without difficulty, since they're largely French or Italian.)
Thanks and good luck!
